Finding Out

Do you remember how you felt when you found out it was twins? Elated? Afraid? Excited? Nervous? Angry? Overjoyed? Chances are, you aren't alone. Here are some real quotes from twin moms about their initial reactions to finding out they were carrying twins:

When we first found out I was expecting twins, my husband and I were in SHOCK! That, even, is an understatement. We were barely able to put a sentence together for a few days. We were excited about the two babies, and knew we would love them, but extenuating circumstances surrounding our birth planning to that date left me feeling TERRIFIED of how having twins would affect my birth plans. Since I was a VBAC client, I had made complex arrangements to travel out of state before my birth in order to have a midwife-attended home-away-from-home birth. It felt like my months of planning were for nothing, and all my fears were crashing in on me. My cesarean had been particularly traumatic, as it had not been done in a mother-friendly way, and I was crushed to think I would have to repeat that kind of experience again. I went home, called my midwife to cancel her services, and felt an overwhelming sense of disappointment and resignation, as I assumed my twins would have to be born via a scheduled cesarean at 37 weeks. It was only after research that I realized that my original birth plans COULD still work, but even then, the remainder of the pregnancy was EXTREMELY stressful. It seems like as expectant mothers of twins, we are bombarded many times a day with negative messages about twin pregnancy, birth, and motherhood, and some days I just felt like I wanted to run away from it all.
~from a mom who found out she was expecting dizygotic twins at 16 weeks.

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This was the e-mail I sent to my friends the day I found out (around 14 wks). I had had an early u/s (around 8.5 wks) that showed only one baby...

"I'm still in shock....I went to the walk-in OB clinic today since I'd been having some pretty painful cramps and a little bit of spotting. After some brief discussion with the on-call OB, she decided to do a quick ultrasound to check for a heartbeat and all. Honestly, I was prepared for the worst (no heartbeat, etc.), when she said, "No problems, they're both doing fine and the placenta is nice and high." I said, "What did you mean by BOTH?" She said, "Oh, didn't you know you've got twins?" UM, NO!!!! The last ultrasound showed just one!!! EGADS!!! This changes everything!!! Am still in a state of shock and mild panic...I mean, twins run in my extended family, so it was certainly a possibility--but, after seeing the first ultrasound that showed just one, I'm blown away!"

I distinctly remember wracking my brain right after she said, "both", to try and remember if the placenta had a heartbeat or not! The next words out of my mouth after the OB told me were, "Holy $hit!" But, I was immediately overcome with this sense of great, overwhelming pleasure. I felt like I got to be one of the 'lucky ones!' For years, my grandmother had been predicting that I'd have twins, so it was always in the back of my mind. I'd also mentioned often that I'd like to have twins. When I told her, she was very happy and said, "I always knew it. They're perfect for you. Now you just go tell your husband he'll get his boys!" And, indeed, he/we did!

That night we went out to dinner with my MIL, FIL, SILs and BILs and I passed the u/s photo to my SIL who's a P.A. and I said, "hey, look what I got today...see anything interesting?" She jumped out from the table and yelled "TWINS!!!" So, it was pretty fun to surprise everyone.
~from a mom who found out she was (most likely) carrying mz (mono-di) twins

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Years before my husband and I ever tried to conceive our first child I had this deep seeded feeling that I was going to have twins. I think of myself as one of the lucky ones, because this belief I had led me to desire twins greatly. For many women finding out they're bringing more than one child into the world at a time the news isn't initially so cheery. But in my own strange way, I had become very accustomed to the idea of twins and therefore coming to learn about them wasn't the shock it probably is for most.

By 14 weeks I was "showing", could feel the babies kick (as could other people), was measuring a full month ahead and was seeing the beginnings of shocked expressions on people's faces who were finding out that I still had many, many more months of pregnancy ahead of me. My midwife and I both wondered if there could be more than one baby in there, but as I wasn't willing to submit to an ultrasound without medical indication, I wasn't able to verify what was happening inside of my body. I did however experience the feeling of "just knowing" that many mom's of multiples describe. From the first positive pregnancy test, I thought of the baby inside of me as "the babies". I'd say "the babies" to my husband without realizing it. I just knew. My husband thought it was just wishful thinking on my part so the news of twins was a bit more of a shock to him than to me. At my 22 week prenatal appointment my midwife told me she genuinely did not think I had more than one baby in there. I was measuring ahead but I had also measured ahead (although not by as much) with my previous pregnancy and the extra size could be chalked up to several other factors. I began the process of accepting the idea that I wasn't really having twins after all. However, at my 26 week prenatal appointment my midwife was able to palpate three fetal poles (meaning a head, a butt, and another head or butt). It was either more than one baby or perhaps she was feeling something very wrong - possibly a developmental problem with just one baby. I was scared so I decided to have an ultrasound to determine just what was going on inside of me. In retrospect, I now realize the importance of determining whether or not the babies share a sac and/or placenta and see that having an ultrasound to determine this as an important part of prenatal care with multiples, so I'm glad I had this done.

The next day I went in with my husband and he held my hand while the technician did a quick sweep across my belly. It couldn't have been more than a few seconds, then he said, "Well, there are at least two babies in there." That's the moment I'll never forget. I KNEW it, yet knowing it and "KNOWING" it are entirely separate things! My husband and I just squeezed each others hands tighter and did our best to wrap our minds around this new information. It was surreal. I mean, I didn't feel any different than I had just moments before but now I WAS different! I was having twins!

It took a long time for the reality of it to sink in. I think my twins were a year old before I really realized that I'd soon be having two little boys - as in school aged children of identical age - running around! It was intimidating at the time but now I look forward to it. We chose not to find out their genders during that ultrasound. In fact, we chose not to even look at the images on the ultrasound (I wanted so much to see my babies face to face for the first time). But we did find out that they possessed two separate placentas, amnions, and chorions which left us in the lowest possible risk group for twin pregnancies, and my ultimate plans for a homebirth continued.
~ from a twin mom

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